The past several days my hips have hurt. Bad. Like they do when they are growing wider to make way for giant babies. And I complained. A lot. Because what's up with that?
And then yesterday I found out what they were up to. Moving back in so my pants can fit.
Hips, I'm sorry I doubted you, and thanks, because I was getting tired of only wearing one pair of pants.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
I'm Lonely... or Friendship Is Hard
I think I am always thinking about this topic. Not like I sit around being like "oooooh I am soooo loooonely" because really I don't have a ton of time to do that. But when I think about the things that are lacking in my life, friendship is really number one.
Don't get me wrong. I have lots of AMAZING friends. Most of them don't live next door, in fact they live real far away and that's where the problem comes in. Some are wonderful best friends that I should call on the phone more, but don't because I'm lame. Some used to live in the same room as me, and we are fortunate to keep in contact via internet moderately well. Some are so ridiculously busy I just have to think of them fondly and read old emails to have a laugh. I often wonder how I have been blessed with so many hilarious caring wonderful friends. I really should keep in better touch, but part of the issue is I am lazy. When I have a free minute finding the phone seems too difficult, sitting on the couch a much easier option.
Although I could keep better in touch with my friends that live out of state, it seems that I can't manage to see enough of my friends that live within a 3o mile radius of my house. Partly it's my schedule. If my kids don't nap, there are severe consequences that I am unwilling to deal with. Mainly extreme crankiness and waking up all night long. Either way, I am a slave to the naps. Partly it's my friends, they have lives too, and for some reason they aren't always ready to get together in the instant my family becomes ready for some sort of visit/outing. And finally, it's laziness on my part. I could set up more things, but I don't, because I am exhausted and lazy.
Lastly there is my ward. Our last ward was nice, but we didn't get to know too many people. I didn't make a lot of friends the first many months, then after having Harmon I layed in bed with a broken tailbone (among other things) for at least three months making doing much of anything impossible. Wonderful friends came to visit but I really was extremely lonely. No one told me that having a baby would be so isolating. And then when I was able to start getting out more we moved. And this ward has been the same slow start. The first Sunday I remember a few great people saying hello and getting me on the playgroup email list. But I was pregnant and sick and very very tired. And Harmon always managed to be napping during playgroup. And now here we are, almost 10 months into this ward, and I am just starting to make friends. And I hate it. Making friends takes work. It takes time. Time that I don't have and work that I don't want to do. I miss the days of instant friends, people you instantly click with, or even having the time (or energy) to make friendships. Perhaps it's just part of getting older, but it's hard.
I think it's obvious to see the real issue is my lack of effort. A few situational issues contributed to my current state, but there is no reason that I can't: A. keep in better touch with my best friends B. visit with my current local friends more and C. make a better effort to create new friendships close to my house. I guess I will have to either do the work [with great rewards!] or stop complaining about being lonely. Ugh.
Don't get me wrong. I have lots of AMAZING friends. Most of them don't live next door, in fact they live real far away and that's where the problem comes in. Some are wonderful best friends that I should call on the phone more, but don't because I'm lame. Some used to live in the same room as me, and we are fortunate to keep in contact via internet moderately well. Some are so ridiculously busy I just have to think of them fondly and read old emails to have a laugh. I often wonder how I have been blessed with so many hilarious caring wonderful friends. I really should keep in better touch, but part of the issue is I am lazy. When I have a free minute finding the phone seems too difficult, sitting on the couch a much easier option.
Although I could keep better in touch with my friends that live out of state, it seems that I can't manage to see enough of my friends that live within a 3o mile radius of my house. Partly it's my schedule. If my kids don't nap, there are severe consequences that I am unwilling to deal with. Mainly extreme crankiness and waking up all night long. Either way, I am a slave to the naps. Partly it's my friends, they have lives too, and for some reason they aren't always ready to get together in the instant my family becomes ready for some sort of visit/outing. And finally, it's laziness on my part. I could set up more things, but I don't, because I am exhausted and lazy.
Lastly there is my ward. Our last ward was nice, but we didn't get to know too many people. I didn't make a lot of friends the first many months, then after having Harmon I layed in bed with a broken tailbone (among other things) for at least three months making doing much of anything impossible. Wonderful friends came to visit but I really was extremely lonely. No one told me that having a baby would be so isolating. And then when I was able to start getting out more we moved. And this ward has been the same slow start. The first Sunday I remember a few great people saying hello and getting me on the playgroup email list. But I was pregnant and sick and very very tired. And Harmon always managed to be napping during playgroup. And now here we are, almost 10 months into this ward, and I am just starting to make friends. And I hate it. Making friends takes work. It takes time. Time that I don't have and work that I don't want to do. I miss the days of instant friends, people you instantly click with, or even having the time (or energy) to make friendships. Perhaps it's just part of getting older, but it's hard.
I think it's obvious to see the real issue is my lack of effort. A few situational issues contributed to my current state, but there is no reason that I can't: A. keep in better touch with my best friends B. visit with my current local friends more and C. make a better effort to create new friendships close to my house. I guess I will have to either do the work [with great rewards!] or stop complaining about being lonely. Ugh.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Baby Steps
Mine, not my children's. I had been meaning to write this post, but Cheri's comment made me do it faster.
Fly Lady is great. It works so well for so many people. But not for me. It's not because I can't do it. She has a great method for building into it, and starting where you are so you are not overwhelmed. I however can't. I always just want to jump into ALL of it. Which is impossible when your house starts out the way mine does. I suppose if your house looked the opposite of mine, then you wouldn't need Fly Lady at all, because you would be good at managing it already.
So, what to do? I invented my own teeny tiny program. And the little program is the entire program, so that I don't have to feel bad because I'm not doing it all. The basis of which is stolen from Fly Lady though. 15 min a day. Ever. Oh sure, if I get into a project I go over, but I don't have to. I always have the option to stop.
Monday: Kids Room
Tuesday: Bedroom
Wednesday: Office
Thursday: Front room
Friday: Kitchen & Dining
Saturday: Bathroom
Sunday: Car & Garage
This way on Wednesdays when I have only decluttered the office for 15 min, I can take joy in knowing I'm done for the day, even if the huge amount of chaos doesn't look changed a bit. Or it assures that my front room gets vacuumed every week. It's strange, but it's hard for me to take baby steps when it comes to cleaning. I either have to do the entire huge project (clean out the whole office, vacuum the whole house, etc) or do almost nothing at all. The latter usually happens, resulting in any good cleaning intentions I had to come to naught.
Anyway the bottom line of my new program is that it is working for me. And that's a good thing.
Fly Lady is great. It works so well for so many people. But not for me. It's not because I can't do it. She has a great method for building into it, and starting where you are so you are not overwhelmed. I however can't. I always just want to jump into ALL of it. Which is impossible when your house starts out the way mine does. I suppose if your house looked the opposite of mine, then you wouldn't need Fly Lady at all, because you would be good at managing it already.
So, what to do? I invented my own teeny tiny program. And the little program is the entire program, so that I don't have to feel bad because I'm not doing it all. The basis of which is stolen from Fly Lady though. 15 min a day. Ever. Oh sure, if I get into a project I go over, but I don't have to. I always have the option to stop.
Monday: Kids Room
Tuesday: Bedroom
Wednesday: Office
Thursday: Front room
Friday: Kitchen & Dining
Saturday: Bathroom
Sunday: Car & Garage
This way on Wednesdays when I have only decluttered the office for 15 min, I can take joy in knowing I'm done for the day, even if the huge amount of chaos doesn't look changed a bit. Or it assures that my front room gets vacuumed every week. It's strange, but it's hard for me to take baby steps when it comes to cleaning. I either have to do the entire huge project (clean out the whole office, vacuum the whole house, etc) or do almost nothing at all. The latter usually happens, resulting in any good cleaning intentions I had to come to naught.
Anyway the bottom line of my new program is that it is working for me. And that's a good thing.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
What made everyone better made me worse
Or so it seems. I have long been a lover of taking pictures. I love film, I love developing film, I love prints in your hand. And then digital had to come and ruin my love of photography. That's not true, I still love it, just now I suck instead. Here are the conclusions I have come to:
1. Digital has made me lazy. Instead of thinking I have to get a shot right because each click costs money, I can take a billion and hope that one turns out.
2. From my research my digital SLR was supposed to be approximately the same as my beloved film camera. It's not. It cost twice as much and is half as good. Maybe I should get a new lens, that could help.
3. Photoshop, cropping, etc. I don't do a lot of this mainly because I'm lazy. But now everyone has beautiful pictures. [for which I am glad, I don't begrudge anyone their pretty pictures, I just miss mine] It seems like cheating for me, like I am betraying my photos [because photos have feelings and it would be rude to make them upset by changing them?]
4. I am mostly just being a whiny baby who is sad she can't take a good picture to save her life. Maybe I should find my film camera and go back. That seems like a pretty good [ugh expensive!] idea.
1. Digital has made me lazy. Instead of thinking I have to get a shot right because each click costs money, I can take a billion and hope that one turns out.
2. From my research my digital SLR was supposed to be approximately the same as my beloved film camera. It's not. It cost twice as much and is half as good. Maybe I should get a new lens, that could help.
3. Photoshop, cropping, etc. I don't do a lot of this mainly because I'm lazy. But now everyone has beautiful pictures. [for which I am glad, I don't begrudge anyone their pretty pictures, I just miss mine] It seems like cheating for me, like I am betraying my photos [because photos have feelings and it would be rude to make them upset by changing them?]
4. I am mostly just being a whiny baby who is sad she can't take a good picture to save her life. Maybe I should find my film camera and go back. That seems like a pretty good [ugh expensive!] idea.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
February
I just reviewed my lengthy list of things that need done before October 23rd. It's a lot of things still. So, for February I will be: flossing every day, doing Fly Lady, and beginning my two months of pilates or yoga 2x week. You may think it's lame that I am using the shortest month for two monthly things, but whatever, I have two kids under 16 months. Oh, and I'm lazy.
It seems this summer I will be swimming across Lake Washington, doing a Triathlon, and hiking to Leigh Lake.
Also I will be writing in my journal 141 times. Oh wait, that doesn't make up for weekly. Oops.
It seems this summer I will be swimming across Lake Washington, doing a Triathlon, and hiking to Leigh Lake.
Also I will be writing in my journal 141 times. Oh wait, that doesn't make up for weekly. Oops.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Not Being Pregnant
Is so great. I can sleep, I can turn over, and maybe one day I can stop being fat. Also I have a great baby. Oh man, it's really the best. Poor Aaron tries not to be sad when I tell him I'm not making any more babies, that we are going to adopt the rest.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Baby Sammy's Home Birth Story
Warning: this may contain details which you may consider TMI. Also it's real long. Read at your own risk.
Perhaps timeline style is the best choice for this story.
Thursday 12/10/09:
7:20pm First contraction. They alternate between 40 and 20 min apart. When I go to bed they become an hour apart. By morning they are gone.
Friday 12/11/09:
7:40pm Contraction. Follow exact pattern as Thursday except don't call midwife because what if they stop again. They stop, just like Thursday.
Saturday 12/12/09:
One stronger contraction in the night. I have re-given up on actually making a baby come out of me.
Sunday 12/13/09:
Extremely frustrated. By one count I am two weeks overdue. By another just a week. By the ultrasound just two days. Can't imagine being pregnant another week, hating the thought of Aaron going back to work the next day. Around 8 or 9pm contractions start again. Have them every hour or so through the night, skipping only the 4am hour.
Monday 12/14/09:
Since contractions did not stop during the night, Aaron decides to stay home. Maybe a baby will come out after all. Spent the day resting, contractions jump around from 20 minutes to 40 minutes and all around. Talk to midwife. She convinces me it's normal. I am still not happy, even though they aren't horrifyingly painful. I am just tired of waiting.
Around 10 we decide to go to bed, contractions are about 15-20 min apart. I lay down and can't sleep, as the pain is getting worse. Luckily Aaron goes right to sleep. By 11:30 I get up, as I am not sleeping anyway, I may as well watch TV right? I spend the contractions leaning on the birthing/exercise ball and rocking back and forth, focusing on my breathing. This is really funny to me because with Harmon all I ever was focusing on was not dying. And, after his birth if someone would have told me (as many sources did before) that I should have focused on breathing, I would have likely chopped them. At any rate, breathing was doing the trick this time.
At 1am my contractions had moved down to around 6-10 min apart, and I noticed that I was zoning out during them, instead of being able to at least follow what was going on on tv. I decided to call the midwife, just to check in again. I also felt stupid because I didn't want to be the girl who cried "labor" for the billionth time. (There was also the time a few weeks ago that I thought my water may have broken, but didn't. That was a daytime call though, and they were quite nice and unperturbed by it. Actually they were always amazingly reassuring, even when my labor was being all crazy.) Heather (the midwife) said she would come over at 2, because I needed antibiotics, and that if it was time for them (her plus two student midwives) to stay they would, if not we would make another plan. Aaron woke up, I called to have the labor tub delivered, and I called my mom to come over to watch Harmon if/when he woke up.
At 2 Heather showed up, followed quickly by Tonya (student midwife), the tub delivery lady, my mom, and Kyla (other student midwife). It was like a party. I still felt pretty good between contractions and was feeling like an idiot for having everyone assembled if I wasn't really going to have a baby that night/morning. At 2:30 they checked me and I was dilated to a 4-5. I told them right before that if I was only a 2 they should just lie to me and say 3. I was happy with what they found instead. And I was at a zero station. They gave me my antibiotics for group b strep, and I spent a while laying in bed or down on my knees during contractions. Kneeling seemed to be the best.
Around 4am I was still feeling good between contractions. They were closer together, from 4-6 min on average, with some 9 minutes in there as well. I had stopped keeping track, but Aaron seems to have snuck in a pretty good record somehow. Maybe because his wife wasn't on the floor moaning and wishing for death like last time? The tub had been half filled and was awaiting the hot water heater to recharge and I decided to get in. We turned the hose back on and began to fill it until the hot was gone again.
The water was AMAZING. In real life I love to swim. I love to be in the water. And with Harmon I was so sad the two times I got into the tub I had to get out because my contractions would slow down. This time it was meant to be. I was in the tub from about 4:20 until I had the baby, getting out once to try to go to the bathroom. The pressure was so horrible for the short time I was out (maybe a minute?), oh how happy I was when I got back in.
Around 5am they did another cervical exam at my request, as I was worried (again) that I wasn't making much progress, I felt much too good. I was talking between contractions, making jokes, eating crackers & juice, etc. It had to still be too early in labor... They checked and I was now a 7, at a +1 station. For real? Awesome. Heather and Tonya joked that I was quietly ambling my way along. Kyla had left because they got another call of another woman in labor, and around this same time Heather got a text announcing that the other lady, who went into labor at 8pm had her baby at 430am. Her first baby. Jerk! But I was feeling good in my happy tub so I wasn't too angry with some lady I had never met... With each approaching contraction I would announce "here comes some fun" which was Aaron's cue to come over and push on my lower back while I got on my knees and held my tummy and rocked.
For the next hour all the contractions hovered around the 5 min apart mark. They were getting stronger, and I could feel the baby moving down some. This was amazing to me, because I was comparing everything to Harmon's birth, and with him I felt nothing but horrifying pain. Sometimes in the middle of the contractions I would say silly things like "yes, go down, good" but for whatever reason they seemed to help me mentally deal with the pain. Nearer to the end I would begin to let my breathing get out of control and Heather would gently say something like "stick with it Kelsey" and I would work hard to get it back and it would work pretty well. I was in a fair amount of pain, but was still talking and joking between the contractions.
Just before 6am I barfed. Luckily just crackers and juice. And luckily into the bowl I had gotten out earlier. At 630 I barfed again. Just water this time! Still gross. Sometime in the 6am hour after barfing I was checked again and was a stretchy 9. I was pretty sleepy tired by this point, but still able to carry on conversations between contractions. Tonya told me I could push the baby through it when I was ready. After a while I actually felt the urge to push. And the times that I did, I did. And when I didn't, I didn't.
Harmon woke up around 6:45ish and my mom brought him out. He wanted to swim in the "bath" real bad. I don't blame him, because isn't a hot tub in your front room in front of the tv the best idea ever? I think so. We are thinking about getting one for there permanently. But I am off topic now...
I probably started pushing just before 7am. It hurt. Real bad. Ok, not horrific like Harmon, but real bad. Before long the baby was crowning and Tonya suggested breaking my water, because it hadn't on it's own yet. She did, the water was clear, and within a few more minutes of horrible pushing (and screaming, no controlled breathing here!) her head was halfway out. That was the worst part. Head halfway out. The next round of contractions got her body out, which was annoyingly difficult because I remembered Harmon's body just falling out. Of course with Harmon I had gravity working and his melon was so big, and Sammy's chest was the same size as her head, so I now see why. But whatever, it wasn't so bad, I was just not enjoying myself too much at the time. And then she was out. And Aaron who caught her was handing her to me. And I was happy, looking at my tiny baby.
Oh sure, you say she's not tiny. But when you have a giant come out first time around, she looks mighty tiny to me. Harmon got to put his feet in the tub and we spent a moment as a family getting our first photo taken. Aaron and I are smiling, Harmon is trying to get all the way into the pool, and Sammy is showing off her impressive lungs. It's a pretty great photo. That none of you will ever see.
Harmon got passed back to my mom, I passed Sammy off to Aaron and got out of the tub to deliver the placenta because it had split. I got a lovely shot of pitocin to my leg to help get out the chunk stuck inside. It all came out, and I begged Heather and Tonya to tell me if/how badly I was torn. A tiny surface tear. That's all? I forgot to add the part about during pushing Tonya putting pressure on my perineum to protect me from tearing something horrible like last time. She is a wonderful wonderful person. I asked how many stitches. None. What? But only if I promised to stay in bed for a week and keep my legs together to be safe. Otherwise one or two. I chose the stitches, and ended up with two, a tiny figure 8.
We moved into the bedroom and lovely Samantha Jane showed her extreme talent for nursing. She is a champ. The midwives cleaned up and left, and my mom hung out with Harmon while Aaron, Samantha, and I napped.
The best part (besides getting another lovely baby) (and being in the water for so long) was not having to go anywhere. I didn't have to drive to the birth center or hospital, and I got to sleep in my own bed when I was done. All my stuff was here, and it was so comfortable and relaxed. We didn't have to leave Harmon with anyone (luckily Momo came to us) and it was wonderful to have him here when his sister arrived.
I feel so good. It was frustrating waiting so long, and labor was long but also SO easy (comparatively). I cannot believe how good I felt through most of the labor, how coherent and how much less pain I had. I am so glad to not have a broken tailbone (like with Harmon) almost zero tearing, almost zero pain afterwards. I am tired, but that is probably mostly due to staying up all night. Aaron is taking the week off to take care of us, and my mom came back today to babysit us while Aaron was at a job interview.
Life. Is. Great.
Samantha Jane Evans
Born 12.15.09 at 7:24am
8lbs 10oz, 21", 36cm head circumference
Perhaps timeline style is the best choice for this story.
Thursday 12/10/09:
7:20pm First contraction. They alternate between 40 and 20 min apart. When I go to bed they become an hour apart. By morning they are gone.
Friday 12/11/09:
7:40pm Contraction. Follow exact pattern as Thursday except don't call midwife because what if they stop again. They stop, just like Thursday.
Saturday 12/12/09:
One stronger contraction in the night. I have re-given up on actually making a baby come out of me.
Sunday 12/13/09:
Extremely frustrated. By one count I am two weeks overdue. By another just a week. By the ultrasound just two days. Can't imagine being pregnant another week, hating the thought of Aaron going back to work the next day. Around 8 or 9pm contractions start again. Have them every hour or so through the night, skipping only the 4am hour.
Monday 12/14/09:
Since contractions did not stop during the night, Aaron decides to stay home. Maybe a baby will come out after all. Spent the day resting, contractions jump around from 20 minutes to 40 minutes and all around. Talk to midwife. She convinces me it's normal. I am still not happy, even though they aren't horrifyingly painful. I am just tired of waiting.
Around 10 we decide to go to bed, contractions are about 15-20 min apart. I lay down and can't sleep, as the pain is getting worse. Luckily Aaron goes right to sleep. By 11:30 I get up, as I am not sleeping anyway, I may as well watch TV right? I spend the contractions leaning on the birthing/exercise ball and rocking back and forth, focusing on my breathing. This is really funny to me because with Harmon all I ever was focusing on was not dying. And, after his birth if someone would have told me (as many sources did before) that I should have focused on breathing, I would have likely chopped them. At any rate, breathing was doing the trick this time.
At 1am my contractions had moved down to around 6-10 min apart, and I noticed that I was zoning out during them, instead of being able to at least follow what was going on on tv. I decided to call the midwife, just to check in again. I also felt stupid because I didn't want to be the girl who cried "labor" for the billionth time. (There was also the time a few weeks ago that I thought my water may have broken, but didn't. That was a daytime call though, and they were quite nice and unperturbed by it. Actually they were always amazingly reassuring, even when my labor was being all crazy.) Heather (the midwife) said she would come over at 2, because I needed antibiotics, and that if it was time for them (her plus two student midwives) to stay they would, if not we would make another plan. Aaron woke up, I called to have the labor tub delivered, and I called my mom to come over to watch Harmon if/when he woke up.
At 2 Heather showed up, followed quickly by Tonya (student midwife), the tub delivery lady, my mom, and Kyla (other student midwife). It was like a party. I still felt pretty good between contractions and was feeling like an idiot for having everyone assembled if I wasn't really going to have a baby that night/morning. At 2:30 they checked me and I was dilated to a 4-5. I told them right before that if I was only a 2 they should just lie to me and say 3. I was happy with what they found instead. And I was at a zero station. They gave me my antibiotics for group b strep, and I spent a while laying in bed or down on my knees during contractions. Kneeling seemed to be the best.
Around 4am I was still feeling good between contractions. They were closer together, from 4-6 min on average, with some 9 minutes in there as well. I had stopped keeping track, but Aaron seems to have snuck in a pretty good record somehow. Maybe because his wife wasn't on the floor moaning and wishing for death like last time? The tub had been half filled and was awaiting the hot water heater to recharge and I decided to get in. We turned the hose back on and began to fill it until the hot was gone again.
The water was AMAZING. In real life I love to swim. I love to be in the water. And with Harmon I was so sad the two times I got into the tub I had to get out because my contractions would slow down. This time it was meant to be. I was in the tub from about 4:20 until I had the baby, getting out once to try to go to the bathroom. The pressure was so horrible for the short time I was out (maybe a minute?), oh how happy I was when I got back in.
Around 5am they did another cervical exam at my request, as I was worried (again) that I wasn't making much progress, I felt much too good. I was talking between contractions, making jokes, eating crackers & juice, etc. It had to still be too early in labor... They checked and I was now a 7, at a +1 station. For real? Awesome. Heather and Tonya joked that I was quietly ambling my way along. Kyla had left because they got another call of another woman in labor, and around this same time Heather got a text announcing that the other lady, who went into labor at 8pm had her baby at 430am. Her first baby. Jerk! But I was feeling good in my happy tub so I wasn't too angry with some lady I had never met... With each approaching contraction I would announce "here comes some fun" which was Aaron's cue to come over and push on my lower back while I got on my knees and held my tummy and rocked.
For the next hour all the contractions hovered around the 5 min apart mark. They were getting stronger, and I could feel the baby moving down some. This was amazing to me, because I was comparing everything to Harmon's birth, and with him I felt nothing but horrifying pain. Sometimes in the middle of the contractions I would say silly things like "yes, go down, good" but for whatever reason they seemed to help me mentally deal with the pain. Nearer to the end I would begin to let my breathing get out of control and Heather would gently say something like "stick with it Kelsey" and I would work hard to get it back and it would work pretty well. I was in a fair amount of pain, but was still talking and joking between the contractions.
Just before 6am I barfed. Luckily just crackers and juice. And luckily into the bowl I had gotten out earlier. At 630 I barfed again. Just water this time! Still gross. Sometime in the 6am hour after barfing I was checked again and was a stretchy 9. I was pretty sleepy tired by this point, but still able to carry on conversations between contractions. Tonya told me I could push the baby through it when I was ready. After a while I actually felt the urge to push. And the times that I did, I did. And when I didn't, I didn't.
Harmon woke up around 6:45ish and my mom brought him out. He wanted to swim in the "bath" real bad. I don't blame him, because isn't a hot tub in your front room in front of the tv the best idea ever? I think so. We are thinking about getting one for there permanently. But I am off topic now...
I probably started pushing just before 7am. It hurt. Real bad. Ok, not horrific like Harmon, but real bad. Before long the baby was crowning and Tonya suggested breaking my water, because it hadn't on it's own yet. She did, the water was clear, and within a few more minutes of horrible pushing (and screaming, no controlled breathing here!) her head was halfway out. That was the worst part. Head halfway out. The next round of contractions got her body out, which was annoyingly difficult because I remembered Harmon's body just falling out. Of course with Harmon I had gravity working and his melon was so big, and Sammy's chest was the same size as her head, so I now see why. But whatever, it wasn't so bad, I was just not enjoying myself too much at the time. And then she was out. And Aaron who caught her was handing her to me. And I was happy, looking at my tiny baby.
Oh sure, you say she's not tiny. But when you have a giant come out first time around, she looks mighty tiny to me. Harmon got to put his feet in the tub and we spent a moment as a family getting our first photo taken. Aaron and I are smiling, Harmon is trying to get all the way into the pool, and Sammy is showing off her impressive lungs. It's a pretty great photo. That none of you will ever see.
Harmon got passed back to my mom, I passed Sammy off to Aaron and got out of the tub to deliver the placenta because it had split. I got a lovely shot of pitocin to my leg to help get out the chunk stuck inside. It all came out, and I begged Heather and Tonya to tell me if/how badly I was torn. A tiny surface tear. That's all? I forgot to add the part about during pushing Tonya putting pressure on my perineum to protect me from tearing something horrible like last time. She is a wonderful wonderful person. I asked how many stitches. None. What? But only if I promised to stay in bed for a week and keep my legs together to be safe. Otherwise one or two. I chose the stitches, and ended up with two, a tiny figure 8.
We moved into the bedroom and lovely Samantha Jane showed her extreme talent for nursing. She is a champ. The midwives cleaned up and left, and my mom hung out with Harmon while Aaron, Samantha, and I napped.
The best part (besides getting another lovely baby) (and being in the water for so long) was not having to go anywhere. I didn't have to drive to the birth center or hospital, and I got to sleep in my own bed when I was done. All my stuff was here, and it was so comfortable and relaxed. We didn't have to leave Harmon with anyone (luckily Momo came to us) and it was wonderful to have him here when his sister arrived.
I feel so good. It was frustrating waiting so long, and labor was long but also SO easy (comparatively). I cannot believe how good I felt through most of the labor, how coherent and how much less pain I had. I am so glad to not have a broken tailbone (like with Harmon) almost zero tearing, almost zero pain afterwards. I am tired, but that is probably mostly due to staying up all night. Aaron is taking the week off to take care of us, and my mom came back today to babysit us while Aaron was at a job interview.
Life. Is. Great.
Samantha Jane Evans
Born 12.15.09 at 7:24am
8lbs 10oz, 21", 36cm head circumference
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)