On Birthing.

This year I spent the 48 hours before Harmon's actual time of birth reminiscing about it. Every so often I would say to Aaron, Lois, or myself "this time last year I was doing..." Everything from "getting an ultrasound where they told me my baby was 9.5lbs" to 5am when I said to Aaron "only 2 hours and 44 minutes more of pushing and Harmon will be born." I hardly slept the night of the 23rd, just thinking about it. I still think those were the most anxious/excited 19 hours of my life (early labor) followed by the most painful 12 (not early labor), but they are also ultimately precious to me. Some people think that I am crazy for doing things the way I did, and perhaps I am, but if I had to choose to do it over knowing it would be exactly the same, I would. (In fact I am, aren't I? Ok, I do hope it will be shorter and less painful...) I somehow feel so empowered by the way I did it, it helped me recognize a strength I didn't realize I had. I also am not suggesting this is the way everyone should do it, but it was perfect for me. All I'm really trying to say is that reminiscing was both painful, and sweet. I couldn't help but cry when I kissed my baby at 7:44am one year after I held him for the first time.

In other birthing news, although I am ready for this baby to be out of me now, I am panicked thinking of all the things I have to get done before then. The thought that baby nina could come out safely in about 3 weeks is INSANE. I am hoping she will stick closer to her due date, and that I will somehow manage to be productive in the meantime. Maybe that means doing work while my child is sleeping instead of blogging. Nah.

Haircut?

My hair is driving me crazy. Your hair is supposed to not fall out and be all luxurious during pregnancy. It's a lie. Ok, maybe it's not a lie. With Harmon, I had fast growing thicker hair. With baby niña, I seem to be shedding insanely. I still have thick hair, and it's still growing fast, but I am tired of finding my hair all over the house, and most especially between my child's fingers on a regular basis.

Plus my hair is too long. It doesn't look good. And it takes forever to do anything to it. Also, I want bangs again. Just a little bit of bangs. Enough to cover up part of my pale face. Which brings me to my next point, my skin is sick without the sun. All you normally pale people, you are good-looking in the winter. But I am not. If only I believed in fake tanning.

But back to my other point. I want to cut my hair. But I have deliberately grown it out to the length it is to donate it to Locks of Love. And it's just not quite ready to be cut yet. I mean, if I want to look like I didn't just give myself a boy haircut. But it's calling to me. Oh Britney, how much I understand you on nights like tonight...